You Are Not Alone.Finding Support When Life Gets Tough

It's been a long time since I sat in a classroom waiting for a group of children to join me. But that is where I found myself on a Wednesday lunchtime.

I was seated on one low chair of 7, around two equally low tables pushed together. A tupperware of crayons and a tissue box acted as  a center piece.

As the door opened, in ran Robert*, toothy grinned. He stopped to look around and asked me,

"Where are the others? I need to know who they've lost." 

And by this I think he meant, "Where are the other children like me?"

Finding Calm After an Emotional Storm: The Power of Validation

We've all been in situations when a friend, family member or co-worker feels angry, disappointed  or upset and wants to vent.

Often our instinct is to problem solve or try to diminish their difficulties in the hope of calming the situation. 

We are often surprised that we have not brought them comfort through our suggestions, or by trying to put their issues into a perspective.

The truth is, that listening and validating their feelings rather than trying to solve them, is what is needed, to soothe and bring relief.

Here is an example of the importance of validation. It shows clearly how the lack of it can exacerbate a situation and the power of it can turn your loved one's storm into a calmer sea.

Pondering on the Porch

A porch with a view

I have spent a lot of time on our front porch since last August when Jonny's trigeminal neuralgia reared its head again. I planted out my garden to be an oasis, a place to contemplate, breath deeply and slowly,  a haven in which to recharge. (See Rabbit Wars)

Through all four seasons I sat out there drinking gallons of tea, often alone, sometimes making plans with Jonny, regularly chatting with friends. I listened, laughed and lamented about many things.  Often I watched our visitors come for a while and leave again and sometimes I  had a wistful fleeting wish to follow them........

Recovery Part 4-Take A Break

***This is the fourth post in a series about living with and recovering from serious illness. The three previous posts are Recovery-The New Normal, Recovery Part 2- Poem In Your Pocket and Recovery Part 3- What Does Recovery Look Like? ***

 

                              One of the many challenges of being a patient or a dedicated caregiver is that you can’t suddenly wake up one morning and decide you no longer want those roles. It is hard to ensure that the illness that has charged into your life does not define you.