Leaning into Love: A Spiritual Journey Through Grief

When I finished the very last words of the final acknowledgement, I closed the book, Leaning Into Love by Elaine Mansfield, hugged it to my chest and wept.

Elaine has written a manual for living when your spouse is dying. She has written a story so poetic and yet truth itself. 

Her writing is so honest and raw that you will cry with her, for her and for yourself and the losses you have been dealt and the resilience you have found.

You'll Be Surprised That This Is The Gift That Doesn't Get Old, Even When We Do.

The National Mall, Washington DC

As we head into the holiday season, which customs and traditions are you most looking forward to? 

Do you repeat those you enjoyed as a child?

Have you created new ones with your family?

It's hard to tell which ones stick with us through the years and why.

Along with the many benefits of bringing loved ones together, I have discovered that these traditions, often planted in childhood, can bring great and perhaps unexpected comfort and joy as we age and our short-term memories dissolve. 

Let me tell you about Cecilia....... 

You Are Not Alone.Finding Support When Life Gets Tough

It's been a long time since I sat in a classroom waiting for a group of children to join me. But that is where I found myself on a Wednesday lunchtime.

I was seated on one low chair of 7, around two equally low tables pushed together. A tupperware of crayons and a tissue box acted as  a center piece.

As the door opened, in ran Robert*, toothy grinned. He stopped to look around and asked me,

"Where are the others? I need to know who they've lost." 

And by this I think he meant, "Where are the other children like me?"

Parenting: What To Do When You Realize It's YOUR Attitude That Needs To Change, Not Your Kid's!

As he leaned over the toilet bowl for the sixth time this evening, (a repeat performance of a Sunday night the week before) all I could think was, 'poor Jacob.'

His chronic illness had made a return visit….

If You Think You're Stuck With A Perpetual Job Description, Think Again - A Personal Journey

I have been shedding. 

Like a tree losing its leaves, a snake shaking off its skin, a caterpillar cocooned before its new life begins, I am preparing for a new phase and a Jewish new year. 

My shedding has taken place completely inside my head. 

I am not dropping leaves. You wouldn't know it from my skin and I haven't been spinning a cocoon.

There are no visible clues. 

My mind, however has been working furiously to get to this point. 

You see, I had been comfortably attached to my roles as wife of the Head of School and as serial caregiver to my husband and sons for many, many years…….

A Poignant, Powerful Gift with No Power Chord: What We Can Learn About Gift Giving & Bringing Comfort From a College Bound Teen

At the risk of stereotyping: one of the great things about teenage boys, (well my teenage boys) is that as long as they have some form of technology in their hands, they do not want very much else.

Last August when it came time to kit Aron out for his college room, he didn't seem to want or need anything.

Hangers? -I can take them from my wardrobe.

New blanket? - I'll take the one from my bed.

Garbage can? -I'll take the one from my room...and so it went on.

Aron, unlike many of his (female) friends did not want to buy up the brochure display of college rooms or have everything matching. 

I, on the other hand, wanted to buy him ONE new thing for his college room or at the very least, encourage him to use some of the generous gift cards he had received as graduation gifts. 

The Number ONE thing You Can Do to Set Your Child Up For Success in School.

Your children are about to go back to school and (apart from secretly or not so secretly, jumping up and down with excitement), you have been rushing around gathering everything they need for a smooth start.

You have assembled their

Superhero backpacks

School supplies

School clothes or uniform

School and medical forms

Lego themed Lunch boxes and healthy school snacks

Textbooks

PE kit

Locker decals, fancy highlighters and Frozen themed everything

And so on….

You are trying to get your kids back into some semblance of a normal bedtime routine and making sure they've done their summer reading and completed their math packets, even if it means 8 hours of reading, every day, from now until school begins.

You have checked all these things off and now you are left perhaps with your child's angst about the new school year and probably your own.

I have sat on both sides of the teacher's desk, as a classroom teacher, special needs practioner and Principal and as a parent for 21 years!

I have partnered with parents to ensure a good outcome for their kids and been that anxious parent with a litany of worries about my own three kids.

When school begins will they be with their friends, or make new ones?

Will they be bullied?

Will they stay organized?

 Will they manage to find their way from one classroom to the next?

Will they struggle with their writing?

Will they cope with the new math program?

Will they find the homework load manageable?

Is a second or third language too much for them to learn?

 And probably most importantly of all, will they have a great teacher or teachers who can help make a difference in all these areas?

The number one thing you can do to enhance the chances of a great school year is relatively simple, costs nothing but can have the biggest impact on your child's happiness and success…...

6 Ways to Bring Light Into a Dark World

Our world is in a period of great turmoil.

Negative clouds have thrown shadows over the goodness in the world.   

 The 24/7 news is bombarding us with images of hatred, death and destruction.

In addition to a daily diet of shootings, rape and racism, the news is now replete with the horrific actions of terrorist groups: ISIS, Boko Haram and Hamas. Children have been kidnapped and murdered. Planes have disappeared or been shot down. Overt anti-semitism has returned to Europe. And Ebola has reared its ugly head. 

Facebook, twitter and emails are filled to the brim with negativity and vitriolic, hateful comments.

We are feeling angry, afraid, anxious and depressed.

We feel like helpless witnesses to a world that is out of balance.

How can we temper this darkness  so that we don't sink into an abyss?

How can we possibly make a difference?

How Stories Help You Bring Comfort to Your Children During Scary Times.

My Dad was dying. 

I was devastated and I knew my children aged 3 and 5, would be too. 

I realized I needed to tell them what was happening and give them opportunities to ask questions. But I didn't feel I had the language  to explain to them in a way that would be meaningful, honest and age appropriate. 

As a matter of course, when my boys were small, we read together every night and this was a familiar ritual and a comforting time at the end of the day.

I love books and as a parent and educator, I know that appropriate stories are a great vehicle for introducing new ideas to children  and for calming their fears.

Lost For Words? 12 Suggestions For What to Say (And Not Say) to a Friend Who Is Bereaved or Dealing with a Trauma

The three of them, met up on a glistening Spring day. They picnicked under blossom-covered branches with a gaggle of families. Their children danced in and out of their vision, as they caught up on the 8 months since they'd last seen each other.

They discussed jobs and childcare, picky eaters and their children's schools.

Dafna kept an eye on her three young kids as the conversation continued. Lindsay a pediatrician and Jack an accountant, avoided the one topic that hung heavily between the three of them:- 

Dafna's husband.

On Parenting: How to Bring More Balance to Your Life and Comfort to Your Soul.

Do you remember when babies were your life?  When each day was a whirlwind of food stops and diaper changes and the need for more sleep.

What kept you going? 

What provided a counterbalance to your exhaustion and brought you joy?

Your baby's smile that crinkled her eyes when she spotted you?

 The sound of gurgling chatter from his crib? 

A blissful uninterrupted nap or shower....for you?


We all rush around depleting our emotional and physical energy reserves, responding to work deadlines, children's karate classes and our parents' failing health.

And when the opportunity comes to refuel, to take a long walk, a weekend away, a meal for two, or to join a celebration out of town, it sometimes seems easier to turn the chance down. 

We're too tired, We don't feel 100%. It will take so much planning to leave the kids for two days….and on we go. 

Sound familiar?

Warning:You May be Tripped Up by Unexpected Emotions! You're Not Alone.

(You can listen to me read this post by clicking on the arrow above)

I don't normally tell anyone when I'm going for a check-up at the doctor.  

It's almost like posting a picture of what I ate for dinner, on Facebook….. Not very interesting.

But on returning home from this particular visit, my emotions are choking me.

I feel tears welling and I'm shocked that my body is responding this way to a routine appointment.

But here's the thing…….. 

9 Simple Ways to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positive Feelings

(If you prefer, you can listen to this post by clicking on the arrow on the picture above)

Meet Sisi Gamble, my new role model. 

She was featured on the Facebook page, Humans of New York, (HONY)  last month and I cannot erase her message from my mind.

Sisi explained to Brandon, the creator and photographer of HONY, 

"For the longest time, I was so focused on being deaf in my left ear, that I almost forgot my other ear was perfectly fine. "

Sisi's words were so simple and yet so profound…..

Is Our Parenting & Teaching in Crisis? What We Can Do About Kids Failing to Be Kind.

(Click the arrow above to LISTEN to me read this post.)

Tom is adamant that he doesn't want a birthday party.

He's sure none of his classmates will want to come.



Tom is just turning 6, but he feels this very acutely.

He's tried making friends and has asked if he can join groups in the playground. The other 6 year olds say no. They're too busy to play with him!!( Where did they learn that phrase?)

Tom broke his leg a few weeks ago and now he can't run around during recess.

So he sits by himself. 

One activity  the other kids do want to do with Tom, is to play with his crutches. The teachers have told Tom he mustn't let them because it could cause an accident. Tom finds himself having to enforce this rule in the playground, further diminishing the other children's interest in him. 

Kindness is not an attribute Tom's classmates seem to connect with how they should behave with Tom.

It's devastating to Tom's mom to hear these stories when Tom comes home. He is sad and alone.

She's wondering why these children have failed to be kind……..

Ignoring the Homeless. What would you have done?

What would you have done?

(If you would prefer to listen to me reading this post, click the arrow below)

As we opened the back gate of our garden towards a wooded area behind our house, we noticed a white tarp bunched on the worn ground.  

My husband and I had been taking a little walk around the inside perimeter of our fence, checking its condition and notching up what might need repairing.  

Having spotted this discarded tarp and having just read a great psychological, detective story called In The Woods by Tana French,(See Amazon link at the side of this page)  our minds were racing. 

We speculated aloud about what could be underneath….. 

5 Ways to Entertain an Introvert at a Party: Helping Everyone Feel Comfortable at the Table.

 It was a humid Saturday in September when we were invited to the Rabbi for lunch. We had been living in the USA for just 3 weeks, and we and our three young children were still very much in culture shock. 

The Rabbi and his wife, a warm, gregarious couple, welcomed us and 6 of their friends -all pillars of the community, to their table. 

 I sat there, fearing our crawling 8 month old was going to pull something precious off a low surface, and tried to make small talk with the other guests whom I had never met.  

That was intimidating enough. 

But then the Rabbi announced that to get to know each other, we were going to go round the table describing to the other guests, how we had first met our spouses. At this point, I was horrified and terrified and focused on just one outcome - how I could make a quick exit.......

The Surprising Secret to Joyful Living.

On my Facebook page, I asked my FB friends this question,

 "If you could repeat one simple pleasure or go to your favorite  spot, what would it be?" 

The answers, and I got many (thank you!) included,

beach walking during the day or at dusk,  picnics, sunny spots, sunsets, diving, honeymoon vacations, star gazing, a soccer stadium.

Cities with special memories, childhood homes and rose gardens.

Snow capped mountains and busy markets,

Pina coladas, iced coffee, tomato soup and warm bread, belgian chocolate and peanut butter ice-cream.

To be fair, I wasn't quite honest with my question. 

What I really wanted to ask was.........

Listening Should Be Easy. So Why Is It So Difficult?

   Listening should be easy. So why is it so difficult?

After all  we have been listening from the womb. Scientists encourage us to talk to our pregnant bellies and companies have made millions of dollars marketing CDs of classical music to our yet-to-be-born proteges.

Babies learn to speak by imitating the sounds they hear. And we know our  children are  listening because they quote us far too accurately in embarrassing places....

When You've Been Let Down AGAIN by Someone You Depended On: 5 Ways to Cope.

America has expended a lot of energy, trying to change Putin. Sanctions, threats and many meetings and discussions have not made any difference.

Typically people don't change just because we want them to. 

I'm no political theorist and I don't have a solution to the Russian conundrum, but I do understand something about relationships. 

Whatever kind of relationships we are talking about, one thing I know for sure: we can't change other people. Only they can change themselves. 

So where does this leave us?

Behind Closed Doors Everyone is Struggling with Something: Here Are 3 Ways to Show Compassion & Provide Comfort

3 Closed Doors

Three Closed Doors

1. In a shocking story reported in the Daily Mail, on CBS news and many other sources, a 20 year old student, Nicholas Barnes was found dead in his dorm room at the University of Chicago, a week after anyone had a record of seeing him. 

You may be wondering how it was possible that his neighbors, friends or family, in this technologically savvy century, had not been concerned by his absence. 

 In the world of instant connectivity via text, Facebook, twitter and mobile phones, how did this happen?