The murders of three innocent teenage boys, captured at a bus stop in Israel, have brought the country to a standstill. Jewish people around the world are united in grief.
We are at a loss for words that this is the outcome. Many of us, together with our children, have kept vigil for 18 days, hoping and praying Eyal, Gilad and Naftali would come home alive.
Now our fears have been realized, what do we do with all that pain, fear, anger and confusion?
We have so many questions.
These are legitimate feelings and they need to be validated.
There are no bad or inappropriate feelings.
As we process our grief, we also need to consider our children, who are watching and learning from our responses.
They will be listening to our conversations with other adults and learning about how we respond to bad news.
Here are some things to remember:-
The three of them, met up on a glistening Spring day. They picnicked under blossom-covered branches with a gaggle of families. Their children danced in and out of their vision, as they caught up on the 8 months since they'd last seen each other.
They discussed jobs and childcare, picky eaters and their children's schools.
Dafna kept an eye on her three young kids as the conversation continued. Lindsay a pediatrician and Jack an accountant, avoided the one topic that hung heavily between the three of them:-
Dafna's husband.
Do you remember when babies were your life? When each day was a whirlwind of food stops and diaper changes and the need for more sleep.
What kept you going?
What provided a counterbalance to your exhaustion and brought you joy?
Your baby's smile that crinkled her eyes when she spotted you?
The sound of gurgling chatter from his crib?
A blissful uninterrupted nap or shower....for you?
We all rush around depleting our emotional and physical energy reserves, responding to work deadlines, children's karate classes and our parents' failing health.
And when the opportunity comes to refuel, to take a long walk, a weekend away, a meal for two, or to join a celebration out of town, it sometimes seems easier to turn the chance down.
We're too tired, We don't feel 100%. It will take so much planning to leave the kids for two days….and on we go.
Sound familiar?
