Sunday, December 16, 2012

A Perspective On School Crises From the Wife of a Head Of School

In light of the horrific tragedy in Newtown Connecticut, it is hard to think about anything else. 
created by George Asencio

And yet at the same time there has already been so much written and spoken about the many tragic and burning issues surrounding it, I wondered if there was anything new to say.....

But then it occurred to me that there were some special people I did want to reflect on and they were the school staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

That fateful Friday morning, before getting into their cars to go to work, they, like the children in their care also said goodbye to their families. They hugged their spouses, their children, their siblings and parents, and went off to school as dedicated educators, as consummate professionals BUT also as family members.

And today their families are also mourning the loss of their daughters, their mothers, their wives, fiancees and siblings.

On this blog, you have learned a lot about my husband and his battle with trigeminal neuralgia and fleetingly I have mentioned that he is a Head of School. He has been the head of two schools  over the past 17 years and I have lived and breathed these jobs with him, living in the community fish bowl  24/7.

Whenever there has been a crisis or a situation in his school that has needed time sensitive handling: the responsiveness, communication  responsibility, difficult decisions and backlash have rested on Jonny's shoulders. Each time Jonny has led the school through a crisis as Head Of School, he has also been a husband, a parent of three children in that school (our 3 boys),  a member of the neighborhood community and an educator.

So when this unspeakable tragedy happened on Friday, he did not have the chance  to imagine "what if?"

just as a parent 

and nor did I.

He needed to, once again  respond as a leader, a Head Of School and an educator  to reach out and communicate with our school community and to provide resources for the school  families.

He worked with his senior staff  over the weekend to decide how best to talk with their students on Monday and how best to structure assemblies and emotional support for his students and his staff. He fielded calls, texts and emails from parents, board members and staff carrying his phone in one hand and his ipad in another. I have seen him do this many times very early in the morning and  late into the night, weekdays and weekends for a variety of urgent reasons.

Even though the situation that happened in Connecticut is very  rare, Jonny and his staff carry that responsibility with them every minute of every day. These are not merely jobs, these are vocations.

And I am sure Heads Of School and Principals around the country and around the world  have been doing the exact same thing.

And I imagine that teachers in their schools, have been reflecting on how much they care about their students and would unhesitatingly do what ever it might take to keep their students safe, including putting their lives on the line, much as the staff  heroes in Newtown did.

So what can you do? 

Well, as you give your children or grandchildren extra hugs, please take a moment, some time in the next few days, to thank your         (grand)children's teachers and school administrators and their families for choosing this devoted vocation.

For caring deeply about your children's welfare.

For treating them like their own.

For going into school every day to help educate your children in a myriad of ways and for knowing that if it came to it

 they would  also risk their lives for them, because it would not occur to them not to........


May the  memories of those who have died be for a blessing and I pray the families of all those who have been affected, find some strength, hope and comfort at this most challenging time.

Please share this to your Facebook page in honor of the Educators you appreciate.

Gilly




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11 comments:

  1. I have to say that the UK press has been very good in highlighting the brave and selfless acts of all the teachers in the school and even more so those who made the final sacrifice. I can think of no other job where the employee would be expected (even expect it of themselves) to risk their own lives for others in their work environment.

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    1. Hi Rachel -The media here have done an incredible job of honoring every body who was unwittingly caught in this tragedy.

      My point is more to highlight that school leaders and educators carry the responsibility of their students every single day and as the wife of one I know how much of himself Jonny gives to the students, staff and parents 24/7. I felt that I was in a fairly unique position to speak personally about how it feels as a spouse, parent and educator who says goodbye to her Head of School husband, every morning.

      Gilly

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  2. Dear Gilly,
    Thank you for this thoughtful(as usual) post and the beautiful picture with the names of the lost children on candles. Teachers do really love their students. Maybe because teaching gives us a peak through a window into a very special world. As an art teacher I see every child express their inner worlds. I get to know them and yes....love them. They have such spirit and originality! Our school is an amazing community of people who care deeply and know that these children are our responsiblity. It just comes with the job.

    Love and Hope,
    Jessie

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    1. Hi Jessie -There are candles in the picture for all 20 children and 6 adults who lost their lives in Sandy Hook Elementary School.

      Yes, you are right. Being vested in these children with love and care does come with the job.But oh what an incredible job it is and you and your colleagues do day in and day out.

      Gilly

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  3. thanks Gilly. sharing this on G+ too. we all have to spread this words of support for all the victims. so sad right?

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    1. Hi MariaAna -Thank you for sharing this. I greatly appreciate it. So so tragic.
      Gilly

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  4. It is so sad Gilly and, yes, teachers, school heads and other staff deserve so much appreciation for what they do. The children become "their" children. It's not just a job. It's a life.

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    1. Hi Liz -I think teachers do "live" their jobs. They think about their students all the time and spend a lot of the time outside of the classroom/school building planning, preparing and thinking about how best to support them. Truly a dedicated bunch.
      Gilly

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  5. I actually wrote a thank you card to both my kids teachers and to the principal of our school.

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    1. Lisa, I am sure your cards were greatly appreciated. Thanks for telling me.
      Gilly

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