Memories Not For Sale

My friend’s father died 6 months ago. Sara* and her husband came back from Paris where they were living and working, to spend his last few months with him and have lived in his large rambling house ever since. It was a hard decision to sell the property and all its eclectic belongings and now she is in the midst of a huge estate sale with the house itself having sold in just a few days.

I went to visit Sara yesterday and her emotions were palpable. She stood alone, surrounded by strangers who were poking and shuffling through her father’s shoes and shirts, opening up his closets and sitting on his peach leather couch.

She listened to their comments about his large collection of ties, sweaters and swim shorts, their opinions about chairs he had sat in, books he had bought and mirrors in which he may have gazed at his reflection. Strangers touching, rifling through, discussing and bartering for objects that her father had chosen, owned, worn and read. Priceless pieces to her, bargains for them.

She wondered aloud if her father might be angry that she was selling all his stuff, belongings he had acquired over a lifetime, disappearing from sight in just 3 days. Tears welled in her eyes as she recounted one woman trying to bargain a navy polka dot tie down from a dollar to 50c, the brutal reality of a loved one gone and his possessions slipping away to people unknown. 

…and yet she knows, she cannot keep all the contents of this house and the memories she has of her Dad go much deeper than the clothing he wore. She recalls the daily  phone conversations, his sense of  humor, the love he had for her and his hugs. She knows deep down she will honor his memory by moving forward with her life plans. Sara's father will be with her in spirit wherever she goes and in the photographs, book about Poland and the blue and yellow tie she put safely away, to keep.

It’s very hard to let go of the material objects that remind you of the person you have loved and lost. But that person is more than their possessions. They live on in your photographs,  facial expressions, eye color and mannerisms, your ethics and values, your offspring and your memories. And these- -no one can buy, bargain with or take away. 


Gilly

*names and details have been changed.

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* Please email me at gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org or leave a comment on this post below. I'd love to have your feedback. 

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