How To Keep Relationships Real in a Virtual World

Last week I spoke about the power and comfort of old friends. This week I want to introduce you to Marin (Miriam), a new friend. 

We first met 2 years ago. I remembered her clearly, but she couldn't place me when I came across her again on my most recent vacation.  Her graciousness and warmth reminded me why my previous experience meeting her had been so positive.....

The necklace I bought 2 years ago from Marin

Marin is a jewellery designer and has a stall in the craft market in Tel Aviv. She came with her parents from the Ukraine as a child and excelled in gymnastics. She taught physical education in a high school, but her true love was designing and she began to design and make clothes. The problem with clothing, she explained, was that by the time a buyer had asked her to change the pockets or collar or shape of the sleeve, it wasn't really "hers" anymore. This led Marin to necklace,watch,bracelet and earring design and her successful store. I told her how much positive feedback I had had about my first necklace and was excited to choose another. 

How do I know all this about her? Because she took the time to get to know me, ask me questions about my family and about colors, styles and lengths I liked. And I, in turn asked her about her life journey to the present day. 

By the time I had gathered my bounty we had chatted for an hour, taken photographs together and discussed what a pleasure it had been to get to know each other as I browsed. 

When I had bought my first necklace from her 2 years ago, I remembered how special I thought it was, that I had met the person who had made this beautiful piece and who had adjusted and wrapped and sold it to me. She had been vested in the process from beginning to end. 

This time we created a connection, more solid and it started me thinking about the power of building authentic relationships.

In this crazy 21st century, we are overwhelmed with technological choices. Teachers and parents and child development experts are lamenting the changes in the ways in which we and our children communicate. There has been much written about the lost art of conversation as tweens and teens text, email and FB chat instead of picking up the phone or having a face to face conversation. In amongst all this, I think building authentic relationships has become even more precious and important. 

With billions of news sources, articles, stories and email messages vying for our attention. 

How do we choose who to respond to?

Who do we give our time to ? 

Who do we retweet, repost on Facebook,  recommend via Linkedin and form closer ties with at a more personal level?

 I think we can find an answer to this through the people behind these messages. The ones who have taken the time to form a relationship with us. 

The individuals who have asked about our families as well as making a business transaction. The ones who have supported us through tough moments as well as asking us for a favor. The people who follow through  and provide feedback and support on an on going basis, so that when we recommend them as a plumber, coach, therapist, jeweler, teacher, blogger, accountant or doctor, we are recommending them based on their skills AND their integrity. 

Now that I am immersed in the world of Facebook, Twitter and the blogosphere, I have found that rather than being bogged down in the technological jungle, I am buoyed up by using these tools as an efficient, easy, accessible way to encourage, nurture and support these relationships. 

Living far away from my home country,  in a time zone five, seven or even 12 hrs different from all these people, Facebook and email have  been a wonderful way to stay connected with family and faraway friends.

And twitter has allowed me to get to know many of you, whom I have never met in person but would love to one day. 

We have already started to create authentic relationships using the twitter tool. Electronics can enhance relationships and conversation, if used as one medium of many rather than alone. Perceiving these on-line accounts as a means to better one-on-one relationships, changes the way we view the use of technology. 

Here are a few of the many fabulous people I have "met" via Twitter and am glad to call my friends:-

• Lynn: the founder of CaregivingCafe.com who lives in Austin Texas but grew up in Rockville Maryland and spent time living 20 mins away from me in the UK! ( What are the chances of that??) @caregivingcafe 
• Debbie: a Boston Globe health journalist, who I actually discovered, after many tweets, lives just 20 mins away. @debkotz2. (I am very happy to say I have met Debbie in person now!) 
•  @TNNME: a trigeminal neuralgia sufferer in Cambridge Mass who is managing a global campaign to persuade the WorldHealth organization to add this terrible disease to their health topic list.
• Alli: a Coach and employee engagement champion in Australia who is a DC native. @AlliPollin
• Lisa: a homeschooling mom of 3 & a creative clothing designer & blogger who lives in DC @squishablebaby
• Shira, an elementary school principal and mom in Westchester, NY @shiraliebowitz

 These are global twitter friends with whom I have made authentic connections but haven't met face to face. (Yet!)

And as for Marin? We are able, thanks to modern technology to further our connection as Facebook friends. I discovered that last week, she wrote a beautiful piece about our meeting (in Hebrew)  and posted pictures of our experience on her Facebook Page. You can read her comment and my reply  here. 

If you want to connect with her, please go to her Facebook page, say hi from me and enjoy her creations for yourself or buy something for someone else with whom you have a beautiful relationship. ( She will ship internationally!)

Have a good week developing the relationships that really matter to you! 

Please leave a comment and  tell me about a friendship that blossomed via on line connectivity.

Gillyx

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