Recovery Part 4-Take A Break

***This is the fourth post in a series about living with and recovering from serious illness. The three previous posts are Recovery-The New Normal, Recovery Part 2- Poem In Your Pocket and Recovery Part 3- What Does Recovery Look Like? ***

 

                              One of the many challenges of being a patient or a dedicated caregiver is that you can’t suddenly wake up one morning and decide you no longer want those roles. It is hard to ensure that the illness that has charged into your life does not define you.



No one to my knowledge wants to be referred to as “that person” with cancer/ diabetes/ MS/ depression or trigeminal neuralgia for example. As a patient or caregiver any diagnosis becomes a part of who you are, but you do not want it to be whom you have become. On a daily basis, that illness influences the decisions you make and how you plan your time, but it is only one facet of what makes you whole. I have found that it’s really important and restorative to try and keep up the interests and passions that you have had before the diagnosis,  as much for your confidantes  as for yourself, to have a topic other than the illness to talk about!

With full disclosure I will admit I am an Oprah Winfrey fan. Not that I have watched even one show on her TV channel, but I do read her magazine religiously. In the June 2012 edition, she shares an interview with Deepak Chopra a spiritual healer and  writer and asks him the question “What is the secret to a happy life?” He answers, “It is to recognize that no matter what the situation there’s a creative opportunity in it. Also, finding meaning and purpose in your life, to make a contribution......” 

My favorite kind of doodle

If I had heard that answer, when Jonny was first diagnosed with trigeminal neuralgia, I would have thought it trite and lacking in understanding of what it means to be living through a life changing situation. But the truth is, that out of adversity have come some of the most creative ideas. Many of them helping others who are in some kind of physical or emotional pain. Books have been written, cures explored (stem cell research), huge amounts of money have been raised (Race for The Cure) and on a much much smaller scale, blogs have been born!

And so what I have learned is that one coping mechanism for dealing with illness is to find creative outlets. It helps to take a break from focusing on the illness and its ramifications and to nurture the interests and passions that were a part of you before illness clouded your focus. It is certainly the number one rule for caregivers to follow: if they are to nurture others, they must take care of themselves. (I know, I know I need to do this more...)

So I am going to take a break and talk about some of the beautiful things in the world that fascinate, amuse and lift my spirits. I hope you will find beauty in them too. Or at least they will set you thinking about how you can take a break from the stresses in your life and remind yourself of what makes your heart sing, makes you happy and possibly creative too.

Jacob’s fifth grade math class has been moving rapidly through math topics from tessellations to translations, from coordinates, to quadrants and from negative numbers to notations.  Every time he tells me what he is doing, my response has been, “Oh I love that topic!” You should see his face! The first couple of times he laughed and said, "Yes Mom you love every math topic I learn." And now he just shakes his head in resignation that his mother is a math geek.

Spiral Staircase

I am not really a math geek, but I take pleasure in the order and logic of numbers and patterns; how they fit together and are so very reliable, that you do not have to learn disparate facts (I have never had that kind of memory) and that you can follow a logical path carefully from beginning to end and the answer falls out so neatly. I love even numbers and circles and I adore spirals. 

Most people who meet me are surprised to find out that I majored in math (and education) at Cambridge. I guess I do not fit their stereotype. I did not find the advanced math easy. I cannot add up quicker than a calculator and I do not ever want to do a job that is numbers based unless it involves a lot of time with people too. But I like to teach math, I do appreciate the beauty of pattern and shape. And as a big picture thinker I know where I am heading when I start to solve a problem.    
 
 I apply my love of math ideas to many things. I enjoy reading books which have a math or number theme in them. One I love is called Born on a Blue Day by Daniel Tammet  and is written by a young adult describing his life with Autism, who sees numbers as colors and is a savant. And another, The Housekeeper and the Professor by Yoko Ogawa tells the story of a Math Professor who, after a car accident, has only 80 minutes of memory at any one time, but can still apply his math skill to problem solving and helping the housekeeper's son with his math homework. I enjoy spatial logic games like Othello (Reversi) and Blokus and I am very aware of pattern, shape and space when I plant out my garden.

Spirals in sea shells

 
 One of the links I have enjoyed most recently was posted by a friend on Facebook... It is very creative and about pattern-doodles in general and spirals in particular. You do not need to be a math geek to enjoy it. It may even persuade you that there is more to math than meets the eye and there is beauty in mathematical certainty in the natural world around us.


Whatever makes you feel happy and gives you time out from the stresses of life is certainly worth reflecting on. The other stuff will flood back into your brain anyway, so take a break when you can and enjoy the clip below in the meantime.( Don't give up on it when the narrator starts talking in math language!- it's worth watching  to see that the magical patterns are right outside our front doors.)

Wishing you a peaceful, creative, upwardly spiralling week.

Gilly

 Please email me at gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org or leave a comment on this post below. I'd love to have your feedback.


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