tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post4675791365485696965..comments2023-12-17T21:45:17.581-05:00Comments on Brainstorm: 7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with a Parent Being Seriously SickGilly Cannonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-57490982832050896432014-04-02T16:46:05.708-04:002014-04-02T16:46:05.708-04:00Thank you very much for leaving a comment.I showe...Thank you very much for leaving a comment.I showed it to Jacob, who is thrilled that his post continues to help others. I hope you are able to ease your daughter's fears. Certainly answering her questions and demystifying the process will help her a lot. One question I have found really helpful is to ask your daughter. " What do you need to know to help calm your fears? " Kids often know what they need or want to do in a certain situation, we just need to remember to ask them! Good luck to your husband and to you as his caregiver. Please feel free to email me with any questions gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-73917279008565179782014-04-02T16:17:12.356-04:002014-04-02T16:17:12.356-04:00My husband is having knee replacement surgery next...My husband is having knee replacement surgery next week. Nothing really "serious" - but my 9 year old is terrified of the surgery and "what if something goes wrong." There are very few resources out there that I've been able to easily find with tools for me helping her deal with her fears. Truly this is the best list / resource I've found. I'm looking forward to discussing them with her and finding out from her exactly what else she needs as we prepare for surgery. Thank you to you and your son for sharing this valuable and much needed resource!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-69449773279185912902013-05-10T18:20:38.488-04:002013-05-10T18:20:38.488-04:00I know what you mean. I live in a constant state o...I know what you mean. I live in a constant state of hyper alert! I'm glad your hubby has a sense of humor. That helps a lot particularly in the tough moments.:-) <br />I'm glad you have had support. Yes, difficult times definitely show you who's with you for the long run, or stumble in our case! So glad to know you! I look forward to keeping in touch via twitter and email if you would like gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org.<br />Have a very happy Mother's Day! <br />GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-73553799434991256692013-05-10T06:42:27.011-04:002013-05-10T06:42:27.011-04:00Thanks, Gilly! Hubby is three years cancer-free (t...Thanks, Gilly! Hubby is three years cancer-free (they go by surgery date) but it is interesting how tense and anxious we all get each time he has a check-up - for me if he even catches a bad cold, I feel my anxiety rise. Do you experience that? The poor guy said, "Ya know, I do still catch colds about a year ago to me." :)<br /><br />It was quite difficult to find any support when our whole life was turned upside down- you are right, there really wasn't much time. We were blessed with a small supportive community that helped with anything we needed. We had a few friends who disappeared completely - interesting who they were. It really opens your eyes to what is important in life and who your support team really is at crunch time.<br /><br />Best Regards!!! <br /><br />Hummingbird (20SecondsWithMC)https://www.blogger.com/profile/06069347953785436510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-20776496819343254842013-05-08T12:04:14.839-04:002013-05-08T12:04:14.839-04:00Thank you for finding Brainstorm and sharing your ...Thank you for finding Brainstorm and sharing your story. How is your husband doing now?<br /><br />As a caregiver, juggling the needs of a sick spouse and your children's emotional needs is definitely challenging, particularly when the emotional support for kids is not easily available. I don't know about you but I did not have time to seek out support for any of us during the crisis piece of Jonny's illness. Things changed so rapidly that just sharing very basic information and updates was difficult enough. <br /><br />You make a really important point about kids filling in the blanks with their own interpretations if we don't explain them to them. I learned very quickly that all 3 of my children needed to be kept in the loop about Jonny's condition. Sometimes I just couldn't do it in as timely manner as I wanted.But not telling them in order to protect them was never a good idea.<br /><br />I will definitely pass on your feedback to Jacob. Thanks for signing up for email updates. I look forward to chatting with you again soon.<br />GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-33833886298124651922013-05-07T22:59:44.995-04:002013-05-07T22:59:44.995-04:00This is absolutely wonderful! My daughter was six ...This is absolutely wonderful! My daughter was six years old when my husband was diagnosed with colon cancer and we found it very difficult to find any support whatsoever for her. There are plenty of groups for survivors, caregivers but the kids of parents who are very sick seem to be kind of left behind in that area. I have no doubt that they feel all of the anxiety and concern that we (as parents) feel and when we don't fill them in, sometimes the things they make up in their mind are much worse than the truth. If I would have had this back then, I think it would have been a huge comfort to her. Thank you for posting this Jacob! I am glad to hear that Jonny is doing much better. I am signing up to receive your email updates.Hummingbird (20SecondsWithMC)https://www.blogger.com/profile/06069347953785436510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-68391046529512314322013-03-13T08:48:16.481-04:002013-03-13T08:48:16.481-04:00Glad to share your site Liz. You are doing amazing...Glad to share your site Liz. You are doing amazing work to further cause!<br />GillyxGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-80080883177719540002013-03-13T08:47:05.492-04:002013-03-13T08:47:05.492-04:00Hi Mary,
Thank you so much for your message and f...Hi Mary, <br />Thank you so much for your message and for reposting on http://www.livingwithTN.org .I am really glad you reposted it there and hope it will help parents help their children deal with this insidious disease.. I have often posted my blog posts there but somehow it slipped my mind this time.<br /><br />It is interesting how long these ideas have been percolating in Jacob's brain. Jonny actually had his surgery in November 2010! He is doing much better now. But it really was scary for Jacob, because things happened very fast once Jonny's pain escalated and he was hospitalised. There was very little time to prepare Jacob and his older siblings and the plans in hospital also changed daily.<br /><br />Jacob will be thrilled that you have written to him. I will show your message to him when he gets home from school. He will be very happy to know he may be helping other kids and their families cope.<br /><br />Thanks for visiting Brainstorm, Mary. I hope you'll come again.<br /><br />GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-28927926901097138322013-03-13T00:01:32.614-04:002013-03-13T00:01:32.614-04:00This is so inspiring from a 12 year old like you J...This is so inspiring from a 12 year old like you Jacob!! I truly believe that sharing your feelings to others makes you feel lighter. I am so glad to know such a brave kid like you. Stay strong..<br /><br />I am sharing this to the community I am in (http://www.livingwithtn.org/). My friends there would be happy to read this post as well. I hope you can drop by there too.<br /><br />xoXo<br />Mary Mary Cimenihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10935764857893995618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-31607488310960380812013-03-12T16:48:54.082-04:002013-03-12T16:48:54.082-04:00Lol, I am blushing at that term of 'the brainp...Lol, I am blushing at that term of 'the brainpower behind the site'. :)<br /><br />There are actually three of us, one in America, one in Norway, and me, here in UK. We're trying, and that's all any of us can do, but so good to hear about articles like Jacob's being picked up in the media.<br /><br />Thanks for helping by all your sharing xRambling Prosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05465813762893479775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-43830755730954222312013-03-11T20:02:30.772-04:002013-03-11T20:02:30.772-04:00Thank you Liz! i don't think he realized that ...Thank you Liz! i don't think he realized that you are the brainpower behind the site. It is fantastic and I repost at every opportunity.Yes, it was exciting to see Jacob's article in The Boston Globe on-line and to raise awareness of trigeminal neuralgia!<br />Hope you are doing well. <br />Gillyx<br /><br />Gilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-78775787095259062412013-03-11T19:35:28.398-04:002013-03-11T19:35:28.398-04:00Hi Gilly,
Jonny posted about this on our End TN p...Hi Gilly,<br /><br />Jonny posted about this on our End TN page on Facebook. It is fantastic that Jacob has thought to do this to help other children going through something similar. It shows what a loving and caring nature he has. <br />And well done on getting the story published!<br />Liz<br /><br />Rambling Prosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05465813762893479775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-20035013336520555772013-03-11T08:20:05.866-04:002013-03-11T08:20:05.866-04:00Thank you Janice.
Children have sensitive antenna...Thank you Janice.<br /> Children have sensitive antennae and denying them the right to information or to be involved with their loved one's care, in whatever way is appropriate, can leave them even more worried and as you say angry. <br />It's hard to keep young children in the loop when the situation is changing rapidly, but designating another significant adult( if possible), to do that can really help.<br />GillyxGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-49821225030851440722013-03-10T11:16:02.912-04:002013-03-10T11:16:02.912-04:00"Kol Ha'Kovod" to Jacob for having t..."Kol Ha'Kovod" to Jacob for having the ability to formulate his thoughts and the insight to think of sharing with others. My admiration for you all is boundless and there are tears in my eyes as I type.<br />It reminds me of an incident with a dear friend of mine who was diagnosed with breast cancer. She and her husband took the decision not to tell their adult children (late teens, early twenties) about the illness and when they did eventually tell them, the children were unanimously angry. They were angry that they were not kept "in the loop", missed precious time with their Mum and were not able to give either parent the support that they would like to have given.<br />I realised then that we need to treat our children with respect and tell them what is going on, however bad or difficult it may be.<br />Our love to you all.Janicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02929072044094419285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-38715644668304289652013-03-07T09:35:58.786-05:002013-03-07T09:35:58.786-05:00Thanks Melissa -Jacob is very happy to read all yo...Thanks Melissa -Jacob is very happy to read all your messages. When you write from the heart, The message is very powerful! GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-56455189533661452602013-03-07T09:34:11.578-05:002013-03-07T09:34:11.578-05:00Thanks Lynn. I've passed your message on to Ja...Thanks Lynn. I've passed your message on to Jacob!Gilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-35223803181630638372013-03-07T06:09:56.593-05:002013-03-07T06:09:56.593-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-43460907265492694432013-03-06T15:15:22.441-05:002013-03-06T15:15:22.441-05:00Bravo, Jacob! Not only is your list so comprehens...Bravo, Jacob! Not only is your list so comprehensive, but it is so clearly personal and has such feeling behind it. You have such a strong voice about this - what you've been through, how you got through it, and how you can help others going through similar experiences. MELISSA FELDMANhttp://www.melissafeldman.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-22134167844340340962013-03-05T09:48:19.936-05:002013-03-05T09:48:19.936-05:00Really excellent suggestions Jacob! I wonder if t...Really excellent suggestions Jacob! I wonder if there are some hospital blogs that might repost your suggestions!Lynn Morgannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-37256944646758125362013-03-05T09:30:49.404-05:002013-03-05T09:30:49.404-05:00Thanks Lisa-Yes it is much more compelling coming ...Thanks Lisa-Yes it is much more compelling coming form a 12 yr old, after he has experienced this situation himself. Even though Jacob and I walked through Jonny's illness together, I would not necessarily have known these wold be the points he would have picked.I knew it was very hard for him when my plans had to change at the last minute. The hospital was 45mins -1 hr away so I couldn't pop home easily. My last minute plan changes were just one thing too much, I think. But at the time I had no choice and he was with my Mom and one of his brothers.( sigh)<br />GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-32908943524853719522013-03-05T08:52:00.067-05:002013-03-05T08:52:00.067-05:00Ahhh, this is something that I never thought of. ...Ahhh, this is something that I never thought of. What a great post! I love that it's from your son's perspective. It is so eye opening. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15956044918626392909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-79893198957452565152013-03-04T22:21:49.560-05:002013-03-04T22:21:49.560-05:00Thanks Kara -Jacob read your message with a big sm...Thanks Kara -Jacob read your message with a big smile on his face. it would be wonderful to know what the chaplain thinks of his list. GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-52994487994753454722013-03-04T22:20:33.387-05:002013-03-04T22:20:33.387-05:00Kids often know what they need, but don't alwa...Kids often know what they need, but don't always have the words to express themselves. Some school counselors and hospital chaplains have already asked if they can use the list. I'll look around at some organizations -good idea. I tweeted it to Parenting magazines and caregiving resources already.<br />Thanks<br />GillyGilly Cannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18393339396656670745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-34922551312400294622013-03-04T09:56:21.538-05:002013-03-04T09:56:21.538-05:00Gosh, Jacob! This is so profound. You are such a ...Gosh, Jacob! This is so profound. You are such a great writer...keep 'em coming! I am going to send this one to my friend and mentor who is a pediatric chaplain. I know she's going to love it!Karahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03670887072674066394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3363712305146749297.post-47402538721535416732013-03-04T01:47:30.570-05:002013-03-04T01:47:30.570-05:00A very insightful list and it carries so much more...A very insightful list and it carries so much more weight for having been written by the son himself rather than as recommendations from a child psychologist or other professional. This article should be published somewhere where other kids (and their parents) going through similar can find it. Maybe send the link to some relevant organisations? Rachel Selbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13113411205306116614noreply@blogger.com