Monday, May 13, 2013

When There's Trouble Brewing... Do This.

As a Brit, a cup of tea, evokes many things: my childhood, my Dad and maternal grandmother, celebration, commiseration and friendship. But mostly it is connected with the emotions associated  with love, care and comfort.



As a child my father made and brought my mother a cup of tea to her bedside every morning. Tea was the mainstay of family food gatherings and I can picture my mother's teapots and delicious date and walnut or almond cake that always went with them in our light filled living room.

Growing up, I relished the tea my Grandmother made for me.  For a long time, I could not work out why it always tasted so special...
I tried to squeeze the teabag just right, tried to add the same amount of milk and use a fine china cup. I have attempted to recreate it and have come to the conclusion that it was not the ingredients but the act of her making it for me, sprinkled with the special love and care that a grandma gives to her grandchild, that made it taste so delicious.

When my husband was very ill, I made gallons of tea for him. The first cup he felt well enough to make for me was a very sweet drink and it wasn't because of the sugar! In my parents' home the teapot came out of the cupboard for all manner of reasons. We celebrated milestones with cups of tea and comforted mourners with copious amounts.When Someone had a shock or heard grave news. The kettle went on and everyone drank tea.
My birthday cake in 2012 baked by Glynis

This weekend has been a tea-fest in my neighborhood! My darling friend and college room mate came for the weekend and I made tea for her and all the other Brits who came to visit on Saturday afternoon. On Sunday morning I toasted a half British newborn with a cup of tea and in the afternoon I made tea for a dear friend whose sister had just died and one of her cousins. They are South African but trusted the Brit with the teabags. I knew what they meant when they said they wanted it strong and milky and I hope I sprinkled those cups with love and comfort too.

Living in the USA, having a cup of tea has taken on added meaning. It takes me back to my roots, to my family and to familiarity. 

My American friends have humored me. They have agreed to taste strong English tea WITH milk and many of them have gone out and bought English tea to keep for me when I come to visit. They may never have come across it before, tasted or purchased it but because it was important to me, it became important to them. 

This thoughtful, small gesture has touched me deeply. The message it gives is clear. We care about you and want to you to be comfortable in our home. These friends are my family in America.

And really that is what I have learned about making and giving someone a cup of tea. It is not about the tea itself (well actually I am a little picky about the brand!) It is about someone doing for you what YOU need, what gives YOU comfort,what brings you joy. 

Tea for me is a hug in a cup!

It is also about YOU knowing what your loved ones and your friends need  to bring THEM comfort and then giving it to them the way they like it most. It is about asking the questions, 
What is their piece of comfort?
 
What is a simple pleasure they will enjoy? 

What is the equivalent of their
             'cup of tea' ? 

 I  realize it may not be English tea. It may be green, herbal tea, or even coffee (shock ,horror), made just the way they like it.

 It may be a phone call, a beer, a certain kind of chocolate, a back massage, a particular brand of cookie (biscuit), a walk in the woods, a bike ride, a hug, a bubble bath or fresh flowers. 

But what I know for sure, is that if YOU really want to bring comfort or happiness to someone, you need to know what it is that works for THEM. What small but poignant action will bring them comfort, memories or joy.

So how do you do that?

It's really like making a perfect cup of tea.

 It takes a little time and practice. you need to find out what is important to THEM and what will nurture them. Then when you know, practice giving them what they need, sprinkle it with love and repeat often. You may like to try it as well.  

You may just find you like it too!


How do you like your tea or what is your equivalent of a "hug in a cup"? Please tell me about a time someone did something for you that evoked your childhood or a feeling of comfort.

Looking forward to hearing your stories.

Anyone for a cuppa? The kettle's on!

Gilly



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12 comments:

  1. When we lived in Australia, we made many friends that we loved and they became our "family". Our dear friend, Vivienne, always invited us to her home to break the Yom Kippur fast. Each year we would break the fast with a strong cuppa tea and a slice of honey cake. Indeed that tea was a hug in a cup! Even now, when we are back in the States and breaking the fast with friends and family, we offer tea and honey cake and it brings back sweet memories of our Yom Kippur break-fasts from Down Under. xo Shari

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    1. Nothing beats that cuppa and a piece of cake after a fast! It's lovely that you have carried on the tradition back in the USA. Did any of your traditions rub off on your Aussie friends? Chag sameach and thanks for commenting.
      Gillyx

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  2. I have just finished drinking my early morning cuppa bought to me in bed by my husband. Every time we go to Italy I take an industrial sized packet of English tea bags for my best friend there. Xx
    Jo

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    1. Love that your husband does that for you! My Mum brings huge boxes of English tea when she comes to visit. We can get it it here, but it is double the price and 80 tea bags don't last very long! I keep English teabags with me at all times and my friends have got used to me producing them at their homes! I hope to have a cup of tea WITH you one day.
      Gillyx

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  3. I'm from Long Island where the popular beverage was a Long Island Iced Tea, a very different kind of comfort. I prefer the cuppa....Add a friend and conversation flows.

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    1. I read recently that if you put bicarbonate of soda in iced tea it stops it tasting bitter. I have to say I would rather drink a hot cup of English tea even when the temperatures outside are soaring! Tea and conversation go very well together.
      Gillyx

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  4. Lovely, Gilly! When we lived in Caversham, I used to have tea with friends after dropping the kids off at school. We had a wonderful time just chitchatting & taking a deep breath before plunging into our busy days. I miss those days - it was the friendship that made them so special! Ok, the breads were good, too! There is something wonderful about having tea with friends or family. To me, it's a celebration - appreciation - of the nice things in life. A moment to take it what we often overlook in our daily rush. Today, our family still loves tea for any occasion, at any time. Make mine a cream tea, please! xoxo Lynn

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    1. Does anyone drink tea in Texas? i guess it's not quite the same as drinking tea in central heating while watching the rain drizzle! When we do get to have tea together, it has to be a cream tea! Looking forward to that tea and friendship.
      GIllyx

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  5. There used to be a tea advert on tv...LOL - there were millions of them that we could quote off by heart - but this one was exactly right. It said: Nothing is as good as the first cup of tea (meaning the one drunk after a long day's work or shopping and finally sitting down). I've tried it and that second cup just isn't the same.

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  6. I remember that ad. I can still picture the woman with her bags of shopping. And I still find my self humming the Tetley tea jingle..Tetley tetetely. Teabags.Lovely as can be.....There was a Yorkshire Tea ad here recently with a tea van going round America bringing REAL tea to those starved for a refreshing cup. You can see it on youtube. Do you still get tea from the UK or can you buy it in Israel now??
    GIllyx

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    1. I use Wissotsky fromIsrael and buy the 2g bags (they come in 1g or 1.5g aswell). For a really strong cuppa just use two or in a teapot with an extra bag. The tea isn't inferior, the bags are just smaller.

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    2. I'm glad you've found a solution. The tea here just doesn't get strong enough. It is used to make iced tea and often drunk without milk. I once put 4 bags in a cup and I still could not get a strong brew.Lucky my Mum is coming in a couple of weeks with a new supply!
      Gilly

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