When There's Trouble Brewing... Do This.

As a Brit, a cup of tea, evokes many things: my childhood, my Dad and maternal grandmother, celebration, commiseration and friendship. But mostly it is connected with the emotions associated  with love, care and comfort.



As a child my father made and brought my mother a cup of tea to her bedside every morning. Tea was the mainstay of family food gatherings and I can picture my mother's teapots and delicious date and walnut or almond cake that always went with them in our light filled living room.

Growing up, I relished the tea my Grandmother made for me.  For a long time, I could not work out why it always tasted so special...

5 Ways to Bring Comfort in Times of Illness or Distress.

  

Aida

We all want to help people in times of illness or distress. Often it is very difficult to know WHAT to do in these situations, even though we would love to bring comfort to people we care about.

Twelve years ago when we came from Hong Kong to live in the USA, we were very lucky that Aida our Filipino housekeeper came with us.

The Astonishing Truth About Your Potential

As my boys have grown up, they have often plied me with pleading questions such as,

"Can I have an iphone?" Followed by the refrain,

"Everyone has one."


When I have questioned my kids  as to  who "Everyone" is and suggested calling round to find out, it is often only one or two friends and not the whole grade, that they are thinking about.

At times, we have all been influenced by peers, school expectations, the media and familial relationships and dynamics, for good and for bad.


As we get into our teens and young adulthood, the social perception of what "Everyone" thinks can take on larger than life proportions that can influence us positively or negatively.


The critical voices in our heads may have great bearing on our decisions. Our self-perception can be altered, according to how much store we have set by how we think others perceive us. 

WIN A BOOK and SHARE YOUR LOVE FOR READING (Competition ends April 26)

Do you love books and want to find a way of sharing that passion with others, through giving them a work of fiction for FREE?

Do you wish you had the time/motivation/ money to own and read more books, but in reality read rarely or not at all?


As you may know I am passionate about books. I wrote about how that came about in 10 Books I have Loved

How To Keep Relationships Real in a Virtual World

Last week I spoke about the power and comfort of old friends. This week I want to introduce you to Marin (Miriam), a new friend. 

We first met 2 years ago. I remembered her clearly, but she couldn't place me when I came across her again on my most recent vacation.  Her graciousness and warmth reminded me why my previous experience meeting her had been so positive.....

Jennifer Aniston's Guide to Friendship: Keep It Old

You will not be surprised to discover, if you are a regular reader of my blog or know my family, that whilst we were on vacation, someone was unwell. 

This time it was Jacob's turn      (our 12yr old). A week into the trip he developed a raging fever, that lasted five days. After blood tests, he was diagnosed with bacterial pneumonia and put swiftly on antibiotics.

As I stood in the pharmacy on that sunny Sunday afternoon, with my friend Ofra by my side straining to understand  the pharmacist's directions in Hebrew, I suddenly felt tears well in my eyes. 

I Wouldn't Choose This Lens, But It Has Sharpened The Image. Here's Why.

We are vacationing in Israel. Today we visited Machane Yehudah, the food market in Jerusalem. If you've ever stepped inside you might be wondering why on earth we would venture there on the eve of Passover, when we didn't need to shop. 

But it was precisely the chaos of it that drew us into the fray...... 

Why We Need to Stop to Admire the View.

( Please note this was previously published on my blog, when it was just a month old in April 2012 and Jonny's health details relate to that time- the message however, I think is timeless!)

As we approach Passover, I have been thinking about the story of the Exodus from Egypt, which we are going to retell next week at our Passover table. These slaves from Egypt were to spend 40 years journeying in the desert. Their goal was to reach Israel. But for many of them, the trip through the desert would take their whole lives and I wondered if  any of them ever stopped  for a minute to admire the view.

Her Majesty's School of Stress Management.

On my window sill in the kitchen stands The Queen. Grey haired, tiara in place, with a fixed smile day and night. You might be surprised that I display something that kitsch there and amused to know that she waves. 
          All day! 
Yes, my Queen is solar powered. On her handbag (purse) is a solar strip, that keeps her going longer than the Ever Ready Bunny. 
And why is she there in perpetuity?

10 Essential Thoughts to Help Us Understand How to Help Children with Special Needs: Josh's Story - Part 2

The Rubin family

Last week I posted part one of a talk by Nancy mother of Josh, a child with medical and emotional issues, and learning disabilities. She spoke to our synagogue community  about what it is like to be Josh and how his lack of a social life is one of the most challenging pieces of his world to navigate. She explained, 
Most children's weekends are packed with birthday parties, play dates and sleepovers.  Children with disabilities have very few of these.  I can count on one hand the number of birthday parties, play dates and sleepovers combined that Josh has been invited to in the last several years.  

Nancy  also talked about how parents have to be resilient when these painful situations arise. 

 ...rather than wallow in our pain, we as parents of children with special needs, stand up, brush ourselves off, and think about what we can do to make our child's life as happy as it can be.  

At the end of last week's  post Nancy posed a crucial question.

So what can we do to be sure all of our kids feel part of our community?

In this week's post, Nancy suggests 10 ways we and our children can be involved in making the world for children with special needs a little bit easier and a little bit happier.

7 Ways to Help a Child Deal with a Parent Being Seriously Sick

My 12 year old son Jacob, has been inspired to start his own blog. This is a post he wrote for it, without help of any kind. He wants adults to know how they can help children like him, who suddenly find themselves in a situation where someone they love very much is very sick and has to have major surgery. 

He also wants to bring comfort to other children by letting them know they are not alone in having these feelings. 

If you would like more information about Jacob's blog, please email me at gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org or leave a message for him below! -Gilly

About a year ago, my dad had something called Trigeminal Neuralgia. He had something going on with a nerve in his face, and had to have brain surgery. 

As an 11 year old child, I was scared. 

I couldn’t handle it on my own. I needed some things to help me feel better:

"Josh's Story"- A Mother's Brave Account of Her Son's Challenges, Growing Up with Special Needs

Josh on Vacation

A few months ago I wrote a post called Do you feel that  life's unfair? I received a beautiful email from Nancy telling me about the 12 years of challenges and joy her family has had raising Josh, a child with special needs. 

February is Jewish Disabilities Awareness month. This year in our synagogue (Shul) Nancy spoke to the community about what it is like for their family and what we as individuals and as a community as a whole can do to be more inclusive. 

I will be publishing it in two parts. This post tells the compelling story of Josh's life so far. In the next post I'll share Nancy's ten practical suggestions for actions we can all take to help children with special needs feel more included in our communities.

Here is her powerful story.

Breaking News: Why it's not all Black and White

This morning I watched a grey squirrel scamper, spreadeagled, headfirst down the thick magnolia tree trunk outside our dining room window. My first thought was how incredible it was that he was able to do this so effortlessly. My second was that the squirrel was just doing what squirrels are meant to do. 

For the squirrel this feat was no big deal. I am sure he did not reflect on his actions for one second, let alone the amount of time you have just spent reading about him. 

But this got me thinking about our lives and how the hum drum stuff we do without a second thought would look to the squirrel.

Parent Alert: Your Mother was Right

It's a particularly grey, bleak London day here in Potomac Maryland. The dirty white sky and naked tree branches set off against it, look mournful and resigned. 

The streets are empty and I am curled up in our living room trying to write a blog post. 

There are many things I could tell you about.

What a Crisis Can Teach Us About Celebrating.

About six years ago I was sitting at a red light muttering to myself.  

No, I did not need to be referred to an asylum. But I had been getting myself very worked up about an upcoming birthday party for my almost 6 year old. (Jacob)

The endless to do list was swirling in my head as I remonstrated with myself  about planning a party for 18 kindergarteners in my house in a particularly snowy December. As I pulled up to those traffic lights, I was stressing about the weather and the games, party gifts, food and home made birthday cake.

And while that nagging voice continued, I suddenly had an epiphany.........

A Note of Appreciation -The Ultimate Gift

My first morning of a new school year, in my first job as a qualified teacher, is a day I will never forget. 

As I was plastering the pin-boards with encouraging posters, a parent stood looming in the doorway. I don't remember the whole conversation but her final sentence is permanently etched in my memory. Having told me that she was a member of the school board and that her daughter Naomi would be in my class, she concluded sternly…

Rings of Comfort- Tokens For Remembering What's Important.

A few weeks before winter break I received an email from Cameron, my guest blogger this week. He had found my blog and identified with many of the posts, because he has been a caregiver for  his wife Heather  since 2005. Heather was diagnosed with Mesothelioma* cancer at the age of 36, after having  given birth to their only child just three months earlier. She was given tough treatment choices and after surgery and chemotherapy, went on to beat all the odds. 

Heather's story is remarkable, as is her zest for living and her determination to love the life she has. 

But so is Cameron's..... 

Snow - How to Find a New Perspective on an Old Problem.

Snowy Elstree, UK by Sara E via FB

I want to introduce you to my friend Jo who lives in England. Jo's husband is in his 70s and has had trigeminal neuralgia* for 7 years.  Jo and I 'met' when she stumbled upon my blog. We have emailed back and forth and I have certainly gained strength, insight and tremendous support from my new pen pal and our growing virtual friendship. 

One of the things we have discussed a number of times,

It's Time to Take Care of Yourself - Here's How.

Have you ever felt weary, so weary that your limbs feel heavy, your bones ache and your brain is tired of thinking so hard? 

You don't know where that feeling came from or when it began. 

You know it has been lurking, sending you subtle messages that you are so damn tired you need to stop.

But you didn't listen....

Confessions From a Hospital Waiting Room

I am sitting in a hospital waiting room (again) waiting for my son Benjy to come out of surgery (again). This is the 8th time in the last 4 years that I have waited for my husband or one of my sons to come out of a general anaesthetic, from procedures as routine as wisdom teeth removal to complicated heart and brain surgery. 

You'd think it would be easier each time. 

But no. It is not.

The Secret To Achieving More In 2013

 

2012 o------->>2013

Have you wondered if this year, you have been running round in circles? 

Not really moving forward in your life metaphorically, spiritually, emotionally, professionally, academically, actually?

I ask myself these questions at the end of every year. They became particularly poignant during my husband's long illness and recovery. In this post I suggest a route forward.

What makes a "good" kind of love?

I am on holiday this week with my family, but I wanted to share this wonderful piece of writing with you, for two reasons, as many of you gather with your family for the festive season. 

Finding Inspiration in the Every Day - 7

It has been a long, life changing week here in the USA. Violence and evil crossed a line in Newtown CT, by killing many small children and their devoted teachers and school staff. We have been shaken to our core and now we are trying to find ways to move forward....

A Perspective On School Crises From the Wife of a Head Of School

In light of the horrific tragedy in Newtown Connecticut, it is hard to think about anything else. 

created by George Asencio

And yet at the same time there has already been so much written and spoken about the many tragic and burning issues surrounding it, I wondered if there was anything new to say.....

But then it occurred to me that there were some special people I did want to reflect on and they were the school staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School.

What Would You Do if You Knew You Could Not Fail?

This photo is mine. Please ask before copying

Well ........What WOULD you do if you knew you could not fail? 

Sometimes the challenges and changes we are faced with seem insurmountable. We want to do something new or change our lives in some way.

But we feel very small in the face of much larger egos, obstacles and organizations. These feelings of being unable to take on the giant, looming large, can stop us in our tracks, root us to the spot and paralyze our thinking and behavior.

Finding Inspiration In The Every Day - 6

All photos are mine-please ask before using 

There are a lot of intangible things we wish for in our lives.
Hope
Strength
Faith
Joy
Love
and
Peace                 are a few examples.

And these things become more prominent when we are faced with a life challenge that involves a loss.

Thoughtful Gifts Don't Always Have To Be Expensive.

As we said goodbyes to Thanksgiving, we said hello to good buys for Hanukah and Christmas.

Where ever you are in the world, (except perhaps on a desert island or at the top of Mount Everest), I think it is difficult to remain immune to the messages around us to buy big, buy now and buy more... Every kind of media has been hijacked by buying fever.

Finding Inspiration In The Every Day- 5

From birth we learn to respond to feedback and encouragement. From first smiles to first steps, from riding a bicycle to driving a car, we learn and gain confidence from the compliments and constructive feedback we receive for our efforts.

As adults I think it's safe to say we all appreciate a thoughtful word, comment  or thank you in a harried day.

Do You Ever Feel That Life's Unfair?

Eight years ago, my very close friend was diagnosed with stage IIIC breast cancer at the age of 39. Her 3 daughters were all under the age of 7 at the time. She went to a support group for breast cancer survivors. Expecting unqualified support and upbeat messages at the first meeting, she was very surprised by what the facilitator had to say. Her message that day, and I paraphrase, was this:-

"How the Turkey Ran Away From This Thanksgiving Day"-An Expat's GuideTo Choosing How to Celebrate Thanksgiving

Our first Thanksgiving meal experience was in Hong Kong, seventeen years ago, when we were allowed, as the only Brits to join a truly Hong Kong- American celebration.

During our 5 years in Hong Kong, we learned to make turkeys out of socks. Jonny wrote a poem about the challenge of finding a kosher turkey, when the only kosher store in Hong Kong did not have one. And we discovered that football does not always involve kicking a ball around a pitch with your feet.

Finding Inspiration In The Everyday - 4

You couldn't make this up! This is an inspirational, true story about intersecting lives.

An Expat's View - If I Can Move, So Can You! Some Tips For Success

As the world gets smaller we find ourselves with bigger opportunities in faraway places. 

Over the weekend, we met up with a British family who had just moved into the Washington DC area. They came for tea    (what else?)  and as I listened to their week of firsts in a new country: first visit to the grocery store, hunting for a rental, finding a school, buying coats for the kids etc,  it brought me back to the beginnings of each of our moves to new homes in countries around the world.....

Finding Inspiration In The Every Day-3

Last week someone suggested a book I should read.
Nothing unusual about that. As many of you know, I am a bookaholic and always looking for recommendations, as I know you are.

What was different about this situation was the person who recommended it - my 11 year old son and the book he had chosen - a children's book he thought I would enjoy.

A Patient's Top Ten Tips For Surviving A Long Hospital Stay

Many of you will remember that my husband Jonny was rushed to hospital this time last year. He had been suffering a resurgence of an extremely painful facial nerve condition called **trigeminal neuralgia that had spiraled out of control. His medications had stopped working.

The internist couldn't find new meds to control the pain.

The neurologist was out of ideas for treating it. 

And  Carol the Physician's Assistant to one of the finest neurosurgeons in the world at Johns' Hopkins Trigeminal Neuralgia center was at her wits end. 

Finding Inspiration In The Every Day-2

Even though we had days of warning about Hurricane Sandy and were as prepared for it as we could be, for millions this mighty storm took away basic things we rely on and take for granted -electricity, running water and connectivity. It damaged homes and cars and brought the trains to a standstill. 

We live less than 4 hours drive away from New York. If the winds had blown differently, we could have been the ones without power and water as we were last summer. 

Warning: Hurricane Coming! How to deal with this and the storms of growing up

From CBS evening News

With Hurricane Sandy descending on the East coast of the USA over the next 24 hours, we have been busy preparing for the "perfect storm". 

In our house it is colliding with the deadline for the first round of college applications. (Nov 1- aaagh!).  It is also Halloween and unless you have taken a trip to another planet you probably know it is the last week of campaigning before the US election. At least the 24/7 news shows have something other than the election to talk about....

How To Find Inspiration In The Every Day -1

If you, like me, spend a lot of your day with your nose almost touching your smart phone, it's easy to miss the uplifting, inspiring, unexpected, kind gestures and beauty that are just out of our line of vision!

How To Have Your Cake And Eat It:6 Benefits and 6 steps to Make Desserts In Miniature.

We are all looking for balance in our lives.

A work-life balance

A spouse-kids balance

A spending-saving balance

And something many of us struggle with:-

 A balanced relationship with food.

In a world of fad diets, there is a plethora of advice screaming at us that if we remove all the carbs or sugar or fat or milk products, from our daily menus we will feel better, look better and life generally will have a rosy glow.

Protecting Your Loved Ones From The Hard Knocks Of Life

If you feel, like me, that your family and/or friends have had more than their fair share of traumatic experiences, you may be looking for ways to protect them.

We have all watched families and friends suffer through difficult job situations, complicated relationships, shaky marriages, financial crises and scary health diagnoses, loss of their parents or spouses and other tragic situations. 

Waiting Versus Patience - Lessons From A Labyrinth

We often use the  words waiting and  being patient  interchangeably. We wait on the phone for a real live person and are thanked for our patience. We ask our children to wait for us to get off the phone and ask them to be patient. We wait at lights, at the doctor's office and in line at the bank and all these things certainly try our patience! 

This week I learned how different they can be as I had the opportunity to revisit a labyrinth. 

The Jigsaw Puzzle Of Life

There is nothing like sudden or unpredictable illness to throw you off kilter. In the tightly packed, fast paced lives we lead, there is little room for a throat infection, a virus, a broken limb or something more sinister. And yet when it happens, with no choice but to accommodate it, you make room for that illness in your lives and adapt.

A thought provoking quote for a thought provoking week!

Many thanks to you all for your support of  Brainstorm. Please help spread the blog readership by sharing this post or others to your face book page. It's very simple to do. Click on the F icon at the very bottom of this post, write a comment if you like and post the link. 

Thank you! 

 Please email me at gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org or leave a comment on this post below. I'd love to have your feedback. 

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A Year In Review - Check Your GPS!

Have you ever wondered if you have been running round in circles? Not really moving forward in your life metaphorically, spiritually, emotionally, professionally, academically, actually?

Back at the start of  December 2011, three weeks after Jonny's brain surgery I was  reflecting  on how small our world had shrunk since Jonny's illness had returned in August of that year.

Brainstorm: A Year In Review

Have you noticed that opportunities often open up, when you are least expecting them? 


Since tomorrow evening  the Jewish New Year 5773 begins at sunset,  I am posting earlier than usual. It's customary at the beginning of a new year to reflect on the year that has just passed. So in the spirit of David Letterman, Time Magazine and of course the BBC I thought I would take you back to some of my earlier postings.

This time last year, September 2011, my children and I were completely consumed with Jonny's worsening  illness with no road map for recovery and writing was the last thing on my mind. Looking back I could never have predicted the silver linings in the universe and I had no idea that I would be blogging weekly with such an amazingly supportive audience.(that's YOU-thank you!)


In February 2012  I moved from posting about  Jonny's health on a site called Lotsahelpinghands, to taking the plunge into a whole new universe by launching  this blog, Brainstorm.

When I reread the first post I ever wrote on Brainstorm, I thought it might provide you with some  food for thought as many of us head into a new year full of unexpected opportunities.

Click on the link below to read my first post -A New Universe.
http://gillycannon.blogspot.com/2012/02/new-universe.html

As is traditional I would like to wish you and your families a Shana Tovah U'metukah- a good and sweet year, free from pain of any kind.

With love and appreciation. 
Gilly

Many thanks to you all for your support of  Brainstorm. Please help spread the blog readership by sharing this post or others to your face book page. It's very simple to do. Click on the F icon at the very bottom of this post, write a comment if you like and post the link. 

Thank you! 

 Please email me at gilly@bringingbooksofcomfort.org or leave a comment on this post below. I'd love to have your feedback. 

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Thank you for visiting Brainstorm. If you want to receive future posts by email please enter your address on the right hand side of this post,where it says "follow by email."  Remember to look for the verification link when it comes into your inbox or hides in your spam folder.

Customs and Traditions -An unexpected bonus?

You probably have customs and traditions with your family and friends, surrounding religious or secular holidays you celebrate. I know my family does.

(picture from DianaDesserts.com)

 Along with the many benefits of bringing loved ones together, I discovered that these traditions, often planted in childhood can bring great and perhaps unexpected comfort and joy  in old age.

Let me tell you about Cecilia.......